Father, Where Are you?
Have you ever wondered where God is during the darkest nights of your life? I know God is with me and that his word says, “he will never leave me nor forsake me.” But sometimes I feel like I am in a cage of loneliness, while I am crying out for God to rescue me from this present darkness.
Last night my wife and I started to sleep train our 9-month-old son Jude. Sleep training is a process where you allow your child to “cry it out” and self-soothe so they can begin to put themselves to sleep. Last night, as I was listening to him cry, I had a revelation. Before last night Tori and I have always come every time he cried. But this time Jude cried for a while with no one to come to his aid. What my son didn’t know was last night I stayed up almost all night monitoring him. Every time he cried I was there making sure he was ok. I was praying for him and my heart hurt every time he woke up and realized Mom and Dad weren’t going to come and pick him up and rock him back to sleep. But through all of the tears, darkness, and anxiety Jude slept longer than any night of his life so far!
Here was my revelation!! Often we think that God isn’t there and that we are alone in our dark situation. But the truth is God is monitoring the situation and he hears every cry. Jesus is praying for you and he is working beyond what you can see.
God doesn’t work despite of the darkness, he works through the darkness.
My son’s constant need to be soothed by my wife and I was waking him up more and in the end making him sleep less than he should. For my son to find more rest he has to face the darkness. Yes, this is hard on him at first and hard on the parents but ultimately it’s for everyone's good.
God wants to give you rest if you are willing to trust his plan, even if you don’t get what he is doing right now in the darkness.
As we grow in following Jesus, we have to go from newborn babies to children of God. Babies are very needy, rightfully so, but there comes a point where we all have to take the next step of maturity. When it’s all about me, all the time, that is a Christianity that will be limited by comfort and an infant's perspective. God has called us to become mature and that means facing the darkness in our own lives and trusting his good plan in the process. God never leaves us in the same place where we found him. He is always calling us to deny ourselves and follow him into new horizons.
There is darkness in our lives for two reasons: 1) We live in a sinful and broken world and often our sin puts us into darkness and suffering. We often ask God why he has placed us in a hard situation, but sadly we often put ourselves in the hard situation, not God. 2) God is a redemptive God and he allows his servants to be in darkness because he is working for our own good in the darkness. Think of Joseph, King David, the Biblical Prophets, Jesus, the 12 Apostles and Paul. They each went through darkness and suffering, but still fulfilled the purposes of God. Joseph was thrown into a pit to die, sold into slavery and then put into prison for crimes he did not commit (Gen. 37-40). King David was constantly overlooked, persecuted and was almost killed for literally worshiping God (1 Sam. 18:11). The Biblical Prophets were politically shamed and many of them were executed for staying true to Gods word and going against the powers of the day. Jesus was betrayed by his best friends and died naked on a cross for people that ultimately rejected him. All of the 12 apostles were martyred except for John who was excommunicated to a remote island in the Mediterranean. Paul was often running for his life, stoned, shipwrecked and everything else bad that you can think of (1 Cor. 11:23-27). God does not promise us the absence of suffering and darkness, but he promises to be with us in our suffering and darkness. The good news is that the salvific plan of God wins in the end and that everyone who remains in Christ will not be put to shame (Phil 1:20)!
Now let me be clear. I am NOT saying God is the cause of our darkness and suffering. It is stinking thinking to believe that God causes our suffering so that his plan will be fulfilled and that we will have a testimony to share with others. What the Bible is clear about is that God redeems the bad situations of our life. God takes the brokenness of our life and begins to heal it and restore us. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli,Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matt. 27:6 ). The narrative of the cross has always been hard for me. The majority of the time I read about the cross and the crucifixion of Jesus in the Bible I do either one of two things. I either stop reading and start crying or I speed read to get through the story as fast as possible. I am devastated that my Jesus died like that for me and the world. One of the hardest details for me to fathom is when Jesus cried out for The Father, but the Father didn’t come to his rescue. Jesus was forsaken, so you and I can always have an unbroken relationship with God. Jesus stepped into darkness so that the world could be saved by his light. Because Jesus was forsaken, we are never forsaken by God.
In Matthew 27:6, Jesus was echoing King David’s Psalms 22:1. Reflect on what David resolves in his heart about when he felt like he forsaken by God: Psalms 22:24 says,
For he has not despised or scorned
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.
God does not despise you and sees your suffering. God is present and he listens to your cries for help. But notice that David does not say, “Father you always rescue me every time I feel pain and God saves me every time I want him to save me.” No, just like my son’s sleep training, God allows us to face the darkness for our own good. He always hears our cries and sees that our pain has a purpose in his good plan. When we suffer we have the opportunity to choose to connect with Christ on an intimate and deep level and learn to rest in him. “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning (Ps. 30:5).
Don’t let the darkness define your relationship with your Father. Darkness is temporary. Face the darkness and allow your Father to bring you into his light and rest. God doesn’t work despite of the darkness, he works through the darkness.